One month post

Wow...more than a month has gone by since you came home from the hospital. I am still amazed, every single day, that you are here and you are mine. Most times, when you are tired, you are quite content to curl up on Mommy or Daddy's shoulder. So much so, that when we try to put you in your crib, you start fussing so we will pick you up. Daddy's a sucker...he goes to pick you up right away :)

Breastfeeding was tough. You and I pretty much realized it wasn't working and rather than both of us getting frustrated and you getting NO food, we switched to formula. You seem to like it...sucking down 2-4 oz every time you eat. The only problem is that it's affecting you pooping...poor thing.

Here is the face I see when you are pissed...



Both Aunt Jenny and Aunt Betsy got you teddy bears to measure how much you are growing. Aunt Betsy made "Bobby Bear" for you...he really is cute! Aunt Jenny and I bought your bear the day after Thanksgiving.

Here are pictures of you with the bears...






I love you so much, Patrick. I will never be able to tell you just how much I do...

Oh my god...I'm a mom!!!

This post is LONG overdue...I know. We just got our "real" internet back, and I have a spare moment while my munchkin takes a quick nap. (I hear him stirring, so this post might not actually get "posted" until later!)

Who is my munchkin you ask?



This is Sanford Patrick James Raymond. He was born on December 18th at 3:52 pm after 12 hours of labor and an emergency cesarean section. I woke up that morning at 3:00am with what I thought was Braxton Hicks contractions. After about 2 hours of regular pains, I called Ron - who was in Virginia (!!!) and my mom to come down and sit with me. We both thought it was going to be a false alarm, until we called my doctor. They said to come in and they did an internal exam and hooked me up to a fetal monitor. I was only 1/2 centimeter dialated (at 8:00am) and kept throwing up when I had a bad contraction (so much for the crackers/tortilla chips I ate before going into the doctor's!).

When they hooked me up to the monitor, they could see the baby's heartrate dropping everytime I had a contraction. Oh...and they couldn't tell I was HAVING contractions - that was a lot of fun. At around 9:00 or so, they sent us to the hospital. My dr told my mother that if she didn't think she could get me to Yale in 20 minutes to call an ambulance - they didn't want me off the monitors for any longer than 20 minutes due to Patrick's heart rate.

On the way to th hospital, we heard from Ron. I told him I needed him to tell me that if I had to have a c-section it was okay that he wasn't there. Now, I knew...the baby wasn't going to wait for him. The thing is, we had waited 4 years for Patrick and had gone through a lot to have him. I felt SO bad that Ron was so far away...

When we got to the hospital, my mom pitched a fit with the valet people :) It was pretty funny, actually. She brought me upstairs to triage, I was hooked up to the monitors again and we started trying to catch the contractions - still not registering on the monitor...crap! At that point, my FAVORITE midwife came in, as well as my doctor. I started crying, I was so happy!! They told me what was going on and asked if I wanted anything. I said "DRUGS!"

I should mention here that I have an EXTRAORDINARILY low tolerance for pain...honestly, I cannot handle pain at all. The fact that I went through 12 hours of labor amazes me to no end.

Back to the labor...

I waited for the anesthesiologist and kept having contractions. My mom held my hand the entire time - I think i may have broken one of her fingers! When the anesthesiologist came in, his name was George...I am still a little in love with him, he explained how the epidural was going to work. He said he would see me in a bit and they started getting me ready to move to the labor & Delivery room. I went to the bathroom and then walked down the hall to my room. I had to stop about 3 times to have a contraction...that really kind of sucked :( When we got to the room, I had to go to the bathroom...again. My midwife broke my water and there was meconium in it. She said "That's what I was afraid of" and checked how dialted I was again (2-3 if I remember correctly). I went to the bathroom, again, with my mom and I started saying to her "just tell them to do the c-section!" and I hadn't even had the epidural yet...as I said...NOT good with the pain!!

We went back to the bed and George came in to do the epidural. While they were putting the line in...I peed all over the place. I looked at my mom and said "I'm peeing! Mommy, I'm peeing!" :) She was trying SO hard not to laugh! My nurse was wonderful and just kept telling me to relax. Once the epidural was in, I felt better - until they started putting things inside me (internal monitor, catheter, etc). I started feeling more pain so i asked for more drugs. When they gave me more into the IV, I started feeling even worse. Apparently, I moved when they inserted the catheter for the epidural and dislodged something (?) so it didn't work :(

At around 3:00pm Pam came in to check me again. I was 5-6 cm dialated and Patrick's heart rate kept going down every time I had a contraction. Pam looked at me and said "I really want to get him out. We need to start thinking about a c-section. If you only had 1 more hour of this, I would say keep going and we could do a vaginal delivery, but you are only 5-6..." I looked at her and replied "I have not waited 4 years and gone through 3 cycles of in vitro to not have a baby. Get him out!" Pam smiled and said, "Let's go!"

At that moment, there was a flurry of activity :) I was signing papers, Mom was getting her outfit on...it was insane! Of course, the only thing I could think of to ask was "do I have to walk to the operating room?" I think the dr peed herself at that one.

We went into the operating room at 3:30pm. George met us there (i love george!) They took the epidurl out (gave me a nice back wax) and did a spinal block. This time though, the nurse was pushing against my shoulders instead of helping me to curve them - for the next 4 days, my shoulder was killing me!!! I laid down and they made sure that I couldn't feel anything. Mom was at my left shoulder and George was at my right. I told George that I loved him and he was my hero about 10-15 times :) He thought I was pretty funny...

At 3:52pm I heard, "He's beautiful!" and then the terradactyl cry that still brings tears to my eyes :) They cleaned him off and brought him to my mom. She was crying, telling him how much she loved him and thanking me over and over again for having him :) He was absolutely perfect!!!

The cleaned everything up and moved me into recovery. They had to bring him upstairs to get weighed and measured, so Mom went with him. Ron still wasn't there... :( He weighed 6 lbs 11.5 oz and was 19 inches long. When he came back down they told me they had to give him sme formula because his blood surgar was so low and put him under he lamps to heat him up. His body temp was low also. As soon as I could move my legs, they moved me upstairs to the maternity floor and into my room.

Ron got to the hospital around 8-9:00pm and cried when he saw Patrick in the nursery. He kept asking me "is he really ours?"

I am still in awe of this little person who depends so much on me. It breaks my heart everytime I see him squirm to get a burp/fart out and watching him be constipated is absolutely killing me!!! I love him so much sometimes, my chest hurts.

I mean...how can you not love this face??



I am going to try REALLY hard to make a post every month to show how much he has grown. In fact...I am going to do his one month post today (hopefully!)

thanks for listening to me ramble!

confused...

see, I thought it was the first trimester that you were supposed to be sick? not the last 3 weeks!

For the past few days I've been feeling...iffy (for lack of a better word). My "lower" stomach feels like it does when I am about to get my period (which I haven't had since March!). Where normally I want to eat everything I see, I have no appetite and just want to drink water and diet coke...that's it. Nothing else.

I want to go home, but I have too much shit that needs to get done before I go out on maternity leave. I am hoping my dr tells me this Thursday "yeah, I am going to take you out of work as of tomorrow" but I know that is too much to hope for. My pregnancy has pretty much been textbook - no problems at all (a visit to the emergency room and one fall back in September...that's it).

I can dream though, right???

I wish Ron was working more so that we could afford for me to be off for longer. I can use up most of my vacation, but would rather not. I know if I "work from home" I am going to have to be available by email and we don't have internet access at the house, so I would have to go to the library for a certain portion of the day...oy.

I will stop complaining. I know people have had harder pregnancies than me and I should be grateful - and I am! Patrick has been healthy at every visit, no major problems or anything (except for the kicking in the ribs he is giving me right now!) I guess I am just tired...I really want a day to sleep all day long...

105 things about me...

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING? Yes! Technically, I was given 3 by my husband (a pre-engagement ring, the sapphire ring he gave me and the diamond from my grandfather’s ring)

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? 9 years

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? from my family – my baby shower was yesterday J

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? A few times

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? HAHAHAHA! That’s funny.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? Food

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? A muncho potato chip

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Eyes

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? O Holy Night – Josh Groban

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Guilford, CT

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: Guilford High School

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: Verizon

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: Lane Bryant

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: Store Manager at Stride Rite

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? Yes

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: No.

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: ummm…mine?


18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: my friend Eileen who is a lawyer!


19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: I have 3 of them – my sister, yesterday; the other two – WAY TOO LONG AGO!


20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: Quiznos


21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: “your job is completely safe”


23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? Texas Roadhouse or Olive Garden


24. CAN YOU COOK? Yes…although I choose not to!


25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: Nissan Sentra

26. BEST KISSER: My husband

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: yesterday at my shower

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: cooked peppers, liver, beets

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: I try to give everyone a 2nd chance.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: My weight

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 16 hours

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? Lady & The Tramp

34. CAN YOU SING? People tell me that I can, yes J

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? Justin TImberlake

36. LAST KISS? This morning

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: Baby Mama and Sex & The City

38. ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: My wedding ring and my promise ring (can’t wear my engagement ring right now)

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT: Disney

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: Laptop at home, Desktop at work


44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: Jeff Dunham

45. DO YOU SMOKE? Nope



46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? Depends on how cold it is

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: sister’s cat (husband is a truck driver who is out on the road at nights)

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: Living proof of one!

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? Actually pulled over…2 times.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? Blueberry Pancakes

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: Yes.

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? Florentine (with a hard yolk)

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: yep

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: a recruiter

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: “Unknown Name”

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: “ugh that might be worse than Ron!”

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: I sleep with 2 under my head, one on my back. Husband has 2-3

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Red maternity top, black velvet yoga pants

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: “When the world gets in my face I say, have a nice day!”

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?: lately, raspberry

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: yeah, but I totally suck

63. CAN YOU SWIM? Yes but not underwater unless I hold my nose

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: Mint chocolate chip

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? I hate reading them!

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: I have to have the bed made when I go to bed, but not necessarily when I get up (although lately I have been making it)

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: yep

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON: Fall

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? yesterday

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING? 1:00, 3:15, 5:20 and 6:30.

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER? Get to wear sweaters!

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: 1996…or 97…

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: that I remember, Bandit.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: pretty cool – Orlando Bloom is hot!

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND? Thursday – eating, Friday – Shopping, Saturday – 3d/4d ultrasound, Sunday – church and football!

78. BIRTHDATE: 9/17

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: a mom

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: no

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: No, but only cuz I really don’t feel well.

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: yeah, my grandfather

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO? my bed!!!

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: No

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: Yes, a little redhead named Dylan

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Patrick

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: One is purple and one is black with yellow/orange flowers on it.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: I am not in school, but the Guilford school system started on Sept 2nd – I believe.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: no

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: once

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER: 2 of ‘em

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: I guess you could consider me upstairs

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: Yes – with 2 men!! My husband and my soon-to-be born son.

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? Admitted – yes, for gall bladder surgery. Otherwise, no.

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? YES! A little man by the name of Patrick who is currently growing inside me!

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? My charm necklace (sapphire & diamond pendant from Ron, circle of hope from Mom, diamond from ex (it won’t come off the necklace), puzzle piece and cross), wedding ring and promise ring.

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? Do another one…I really don’t want to work!!!

it's slowly becomming more real...

Not that it wasn't real BEFORE, but...in 8 weeks (56 days), I might be meeting my son. I have waiting so long to meet him, I still can't believe that I am actually going to.

This weekend we moved furniture around, got things cleaned up in the living/dining room area, moved a bookcase upstairs for Patrick's room (yay!) and my stepfather and uncle were at my house last night until almost 10:00 re-wiring my cable so I didn't have wires in the house. Apparently, I have to make sure my house is cleaned to my uncle's specifications, which means he has to be able to eat off any surface in my home - yay. Oh, did I mention I am having a BABY?!?!?!?! oy...

I am going to get my flu shot today, then off to meet with Bisch (John Bischof) at church to learn more about being the treasurer...joy! I have fun with Bisch though, I can't complain.

Will post pictures once things get a little more put together. My husband is not even going to know what hit him when he gets home next weekend!!!!

ta!

Kinda fun :)

Four, Four, Four, Four...

A) Four places that I go to over and over
Bathroom, Work, Church, Naples (for dinner)

B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly)
Mom, Kelli, Caren, Jessica

C) Four of my favorite places to eat
Lena’s, Texas Roadhouse, Naples, Cracker Barrell

D) Four places I would rather be right now
My bed, getting my hair/nails done, not at work, recording studio

E) Four people I think will re-post
Jen, Betsy, Becca, ???

F) Four TV shows I watch
CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, Charmed, Grey’s Anatomy

Here's what you are supposed to do...and please don't spoil the fun...

Delete my answers, type in your answers and repost!

Lord, help me to leave yesterday behind me and learn something today that will help me to say and do something positive tomorrow. In Jesus name, Amen

Need suggestions for music...

I LOVE playing music for Patrick, he moves around so much and I want to expose him to as many different types of music as possible so he loves it as much as his mom and dad!!

Here is the playlist he has been listening to:

"Songbird" - Fleetwood Mac
"Smile" - Harry Connick Jr.
"Sweet Baby James" - Dixie Chicks and James Taylor
"Corner of the Sky" from Pippin
"Danny's Song" - Kenny Loggins
"Show Me The Way" - Styx
"Alone in the Universe" - from Suessical
"For Once in My Life" - Harry Connick Jr (he likes this one a lot!)
"You Raise Me Up" - Josh Groban
"Calling All Angels" - KD Lang & Jane Sibery
"For You" - Michael W. Smith
"Just One Person" - from Snoopy
"Poor Sweet Baby" - from Snoopy
"Living Prayer" - Alison Krauss
"When You Say Nothing At All" - Alison Krauss
"Breath of Heaven" - Amy Grant
"Christmas Lullaby" - from Songs for a New World
"Come Down From The Tree" - Audra McDonald
"Baby Moon" - Audra McDonald
"Stop, Time" - from Big (he LOVES this song!)
"James" - Billy Joel
"Panis Angelicus" - Charlotte Church
"The Prayer" - Josh Groban and Charlotte Church
"O Holy Night" - recording from the show "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" (All brass!)
"Find the Cost of Freedom" - Crosby, Stills & Nash
"You're the Voice" - David Archuletta
"Malaguena" - from Blast (Dances with this one!)
"I'm Going to Go Back There Someday" - from the Muppet Movie
"For Good" - from Wicked
"Love Will Come to You" - Indigo Girls
"Hallelujah" - Jason Castro
"Say" - John Mayer
"Seasons of Love" - from Rent
"Cole's Song" - Julian Lennon
"Carry on my Wayward Son" - Kansas
"I Would Die for That" - Kellie Coffey
"Rainbow Connection" - from the Muppet Movie
"Route 66" - Les Grant
"Someone Like You" - Linda Eder
"Somewhere Out There" - Linda Rondstadt & James Ingram
"We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions" - Michael Johns
"Seize the Day" - from NEwsies
"Canon in d Major" - Johan Pachabel
"Candle on the Water" - from Pete's Dragon
"The Only Promise that Remains" - Justin Timberlake and Reba McIntire
"Enjoy the Ride" - Ricky Skaggs
"Go the Distance" - from Hercules
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" - Diana Ross & the Supremes
"When She Loved Me" - Sarah McLachlan
"Back on Base" - NO clue!!
"The Final Countdown" - Europe
"I Don't Want to Live on the Moon" - Shawn Colvin (& Ernie)

Any suggestions???